월요일, 10월 31, 2005
Before I go any further, I would like to address this problem, which is always present between viewers and bloggers. As I've mentioned before that the purpose of a blog is something like an online diary for somebody, who is, obviously a blogger himself/herself. To each of course, a different purpose and perspective.
I've come to the point in my life when I find that I should make full use of this blog as my full-time online journal, which will help lift me up from all my stresses. I've came to a new phase in my life when I actually feel that more pressures, more responsibilities and more political situations are coming in.
Hence, there're no more of those times in the classic era when I have to bear with the pains of my chemotherapies and other treatments. Of course, those memories and the victories God gave me will always stay in my heart. It's time to move on to greater expectations and challenges yet to come. And these challenges are tougher than what I expected. Therefore, I see no point in hiding my emotions and pressures away from my blog, which is somewhat personal and precious to me, and at the same time, viewable.
I understand that some people wouldn't like me spewing crude words on my blog. Well, this is me. Of course, I, myself, wouldn't like cursing and swearing as much, but there comes a time when some things got to be vented.
Please read my previous post about bloggers and blogging if you are curious about what's been going on around here and people's comments everywhere. First and foremost, I don't swear crudity (my invented word) to get attention from viewers. I'm just being myself and sincere about my feelings. Viewers on the other hand must have the responsibilty to deal with such remarks made, because it has alot to do with understanding and empathy. I'm not saying that one should sympathize me for some of the shit I'm going through, but rather, it's something I'm expressing out from the bottom of my heart.
And if that'll stumble you, then for goodness sake, don't come here; don't get to know me more; don't leave comments here; stop finding out about my life; don't empathize me and don't even seek to understand me and my misunderstood intentions.
This is my journal, not my testimony. I have many things to write here, all regarding about the way I feel towards things. It's a place to vent my frustrations and pour my feelings out. At the same time, a place to share some thoughts or maybe, crack a little bit of joke.
I'll blog for those who understand me. That said, I'm not gonna go further than this unless I'm pushed over. And if that should ever happen, then it'll be another story for another day. I'm tired of arguing with some particular viewers who are just so weak.
*ahem**ahem*
Alright, today's kinda special to me. And for the regulars, I think you'd know what I'm talking about. Yes...
HAPPY 7TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY DARLING!!! Ooooh... isn't it a co-incidence? Today's HALLOWEEN too! Wow! Those ghosts... and those eerie costumes! Really sounds like the Chinese's 7th month - Hungry Ghost Festival! Hahaha...
Anyway, Happy Halloween to my darling and all my fellow mates out there! I hope you guyz enjoy yourselves! Remember to give treats alright... or else God knows what will happen to you and your house! Hahahaha...
Age of Empires III is finally out!!! Woot!!! I've been waiting for this release for 5 long years ever since Age of Empires II was released into the market. I think I'll go try out this game in cinileisure before deciding on my purchase. The graphic is superb and the civilization idea is cool too! Ooooh... how I wish I can grab a copy of this CD Rom and get my armies moving again. Muhahaha...!
To Steve: Since this game has been released, I hope you'll get a copy of it soon. And very soon, we'll get together as allies against the CPU again!
Just like the old days..
Whatever it is, I'll continue to blog no matter what the cost. I too feel that sincerity counts and then again, if anyone of you think I'm crude and trying too hard to get one's attention, I beg to differ. Because I've NEVER for once wanted any.
-
BARDed
토요일, 10월 29, 2005
I've been away from blogging for close to a week now and I know that! But I've also been busy Mapling. Well, to those who doesn't know what Mapling is about. Check out this game site -
maplesea.com I'm not really a hardcore gamer myself, but I like to play PC games, online games, especially those that are quite appealing to me. I like strategy games and some online MMRPGs.Thus, I've been away from my log for such a long time training my online game character.
I've taken a few screenshots. Here they are: -
I've made this as my siggy in the Maple Forum. My darling, Monsterina, is just sitted next to me, on the swing in Ossyria.
My Darling and I in Legoland, Free Market. She had changed her hairstyle and can only meet me here as she's in Ossyria herself.
So, I went to Ossyria to look for her. On the way, I need to buy the ticket to take the air-ship to Orbis in Ossyria.
The air-ship finally took off and here I am on board!
That's me standing on the highest point of the air-ship. Only mages can do this! Hahahaha... all thanks to their teleporting skills! Monsterina! Here I come!
At the balcony-point of the air-ship enjoying the scenery below. Hehehe...
In the cabin... yea, I was travelling with another person board. But he switched channel later. Hahaha..
Finally, I met sweetie in the Orbis Tower while heading to meet her in El Nath.
That's all. Right now, I'm at Level 43 of my Ice/Lightning Wizard character. I'll be planning to head back to Victoria Island once I reach the range around Level 46 - 50 or so. By then, I'll be thinking about keeping a pet.
Alright, if anyone is interested, you can download the game at the site mentioned earlier. I'm off to church now.
-
BARDed
월요일, 10월 24, 2005
It's a really fucked up day today. I had no idea what the hell went wrong with me. My temper gave way again, and this time, somebody close to me was affected. And I am now in great remorse. I don't know what to do. I'm in shame and lots of guilt. For once after a long time, I fell into a lonely depression.
I know that sooner this would happen. Just like what my mum also said, that if I don't get rid of this tempremental attitude, I'll lose too much I can ever imagine. I'm fearing that it might come to pass right now. I'm trying to self-reflect and spend some time alone thinking over all I've done, which have actually hurt somebody dear to me. I don't really mean it but it's the little fault I have all along that brought me into this downfall.
Probably it's pride. Pride kills. It destroys. And I've seen how it destroyed me in the past. Why am I doing it again?
Probably it's carelessness. I've always been forgetful and careless ever since I recovered. It's been pretty hard on me trying to remember things again. Each time I forget something, I feel I'm useless and that I've lost something which I truly possessed last time - A Good Memory.
Probably I've always let people down. I let my cell group leader down, I've let my mentor down, I've let my pastor down, I've let my ex down and the list I can't remember. For what reason, I don't really know.. but I can guess. Perhaps I just want it my way sometimes. And it's a fault of mine too.
I'm not perfect. Neither is everyone. I'm trying to live with the imperfection of the world and the people. I'm trying to tolerate their nonsenses just as they've tolerated mine. Can't this world be more loving?
Even in a relationship, if one is struggling with something he/she finding it hard to correct oneself, where is the fire of compassion and undying support?
I need prayers. Lots of them! I need God more than anything else in this world because I'm always growing and I can't expect to live without God's guidance everyday.Today, I made a horrible mistake. I'm not telling it here and I really hope someone I'm thinking of right now, would forgive me and start things afresh.
I'll not disappoint you again. :-(
Right now, all I have to do is pray and hope that everything will be alright again..
-
BARDed
금요일, 10월 21, 2005
Historical Figure Test - Which Historical Figures Are You?I wanna laugh at this test. Of the 5 figures, whom I don't even know, doesn't fit me at all. Hahaha... And for those who misunderstood me as an extremist, I've got one phrase for you guys -
GO TO HELL DRINK SOME SEMEN! See, I told you... I can keep my cool and I know when to let out the steam and when to keep quiet. For those who hate me, go ahead and sue me for all I care. You bunch of rotten sausages just love finding fault with me. You know who you are. Now back off!
Here's the score as a solid prove --->
You're...
Balanced
You scored 24 in controversiality, 25 in aesthetics, 35 analytical, and 26 moral!History always repeats itself. Luckily, you are like none of the historical figures amongst the five. That is -- You're pleasant and well-balanced. ;)
You scored fairly equally between each of the characteristics, so unfortunately, due to the way this test is scored, you cannot be placed. My apologies! My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 47% on Controversial
You scored higher than 47% on How aesthetic
You scored higher than 50% on How analytical
You scored higher than 46% on How moral
- BARDed